Offices are not conducive to good blogging. However i shall take the risk and say what i have to anyway. if i ever write a thesis, it'll be on the redundancy of theory. So i'll begin with that line with every assurance that i am not writing a thesis. Frankly you cant follow theory to make sense of the world. You have to live on your own terms, and draw your own conclusions. Thank you structuralists for pointing out that my words are not my own. But i hold on possessively to my thoughts as MINE. There is a me that is a sum total of experiences. And seeing this i rather invest in new experiences rather than be subsumed by them when i'm not careful. Got to get get out there. Live. And not carry a persecution complex.
So here i am thinking i'll moonlight as a theatre critic and make films and write and blah. And of course, nothing works out. And the self-recriminations start all over again. Cant do this. Dont know that. Am not like so and so. And i dont want to go down that road again. So its become something of a vicious circle. I was, and still am, an active member of the 'lets hope for the best and wait and watch" council. Anyway there hasnt been a real point to this post except for posting something new. and when you think about it, its dangerous to hope for something exciting to happen because, well, certain things happen and then you want to go back to the time when nothing was happening. Fresh can be sour. And i's as muddled as ever.
2 comments:
'the redundancy of theory...' this is something I've been thinking about. A creative work is like a child, spawned in a moment of unthinking ferment. It is alive. You don't have the freedom to reach in and change its genetic structure (though you can change a nose, or a haircut after it is born; 'tweak' the final product).
Structuralists are always talking about 'life' as something arcane that you can assemble by following the formulas they have discerned in hindsight. But real life in a character, or a story, doesn't allow infinite tinkering. You aren't free to 'construct' your child.
Back to the difference between the director and the all-knowing assistant director, with a much more evolved sense of structure! So intimidating for the poor director, who simply 'knows' the way on an untravelled path...
Shyam Benegal once told me: 'once you have an idea, take it and run; it's precious. Don't stop to think "why". There are lots of critics who will do that for you...'
i hadnt thought of that.. i'll remember it:)
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